Cell Phone etiquette
Cell Phone etiquette
Since I still feel that my dad is not living up to his responsibilities on the blog, and i can’t remember my own username and password, I have logged on through his name to write a small post of my own.
So today I am leaving class and taking an elevator six flights down, there are around six other people in the elevator with me, four kids and two adults. Me and two of the other kids are minding our own business, or at least not saying anything or talking to anyone, and the other is on her cell phone. The two adults however are in a full conversation when the woman notices that this girl is on the phone. In a voice more then loud enough for all to hear she says ” You know what I really find rude is people on a cell phone in a elevator.”
Now, I do not care where or when you use your cell phone. Especially considering that I could not live without my own, although there are times I will not pick up because of the situation that I am in. Still, using a cell phone in a elevator, i would not consider to be a capital sin. It was not as if she were talking loud, in fact she was being more quite then the two having the conversation.
What I do consider to be rude though, is the woman that pointed out that she was using a cell phone in a loud voice. I mean, how is what she was doing any different then the conversation that the two others were having. In fact, I was more distracted by the two having the conversation than the girl on the cell phone.
I was very close to saying something, however, being as sleepy as I am, and not having gotten enough sleep lately, decided to hold my tongue. Still, i think she should have held hers. I know that I am speaking to many people over the blog, including those (adam) who have many cell phone pet peeves of their own. However, she was not hurting anyone and certainly not being nearly as rude as the lady who pointed out what she was doing.
Well, I was just looking for something to add to the blog. Maybe now that I have added something my dad will come back to life. Considering that usually I have conversations with him at four in the morning because he is just a big a insomniac as I am… at least usually.
Still looking for you dad
matt
Oooooh, what a can of worms … ! It reminds me for some reason of the “Let’s Hate Rachel Ray” club (there realy is one, though its name may deviate slightly), where one celebrates one’s disapproval, thereby (in one’s own mind at least) elevating onesself to … well, something in which one is mistaken, no doubt.
I’m actually with you here, Matt, in that a quiet cell conversation, but for pauses for silence, is no different than regular, and arguably no more an imposition. It’s the loud-voice-on-the-phone phenomenon (of which I’m quite guilty myself) that transforms it — by other measures it’s half as quiet as a regular conversation. Perhaps the transgression was the righteous snideness — someone with a passionate belief and a desire to transform might’ve found an opportunity outside the elevator to suggest to the cell woman that elevators — already great compromisers of persoanl space — are inappropriate for a cell call, but they’d have to be open to disagreement. All they did was make a pronouncement almost guranteed to foster resentment and resistence.
All that being said, I dread the imminent day when people can use their cell phones on airplanes. Wrap the fuselages in interference foil say I (and bolt the seats upright while they’re at it … ).
Comment by adam — December 4, 2006 @ 2:56 pm
Thanks for the post, Matteo — we gratefully admire the independent spirit! But try to find it in yourself to give your old man a break — his protracted illness has left him lost and wandering, and he DID suck it up to put up 3 sequential posts just the other day. ‘Tis a taxing labor of love to do what he does, and everyone deserves a vacation sometime …
Comment by el Kib — December 4, 2006 @ 2:59 pm
The fact that the grown up thought she needed to say anything at all indicates something. Not sure what, but something. You would think that the grown up would realize that as a student she probably couldn’t talk in class and needed to talk between classes.
Regarding overall cell phone etiquette…it’s a hard one to judge. I mostly worry when I see teenagers in cars on cell phones. Especially ones who are driving behind me. Other than that I marvel that people can talk on their cell phone and say do grocery shopping, or pick out a Christmas tree. It shows they can multi task on some level. I am not one of those people. I can multi task but not with my cell phone. I like to think I can give people my undivided attention when I’m on the phone with them. Which is what the girl in the elevator was trying to do.
Comment by La Rad — December 4, 2006 @ 3:53 pm
you’re a really good writer Matt and Mike I’m usually up at four in the morning as well so after you talk to your son Ill be expecting a call.
Comment by Joe — December 4, 2006 @ 4:31 pm
The concept is absurd. Elevators, like subway cars, are a testament to personal indifference, or squeamishness, or the ability to hide from one’s own humanity. Think of what statues plain folk turn into once they enter that box. I’d applaud the chatter, thinking at least there is someone saying something to someone else.
I always jump on any opening to engage the other person. Often I get a short reply, then my fellow traveler will edge over to the emergency button and assume this look of, “Why didn’t I tell my children I loved them before I left the house this morning.”
One more thing. Diane and I frequently come to blows over talking on cell phones in restaurants. When it rings, Diane grabs her phone and runs out the door as if she’s holding a grenade with the pin pulled. I say if I’m not raising my voice, I can talk all I want.
Joe, I’d call, but I can’t talk at that hour. I understand you don’t like IM, but that’s what Matt and I do.
Comment by michael — December 4, 2006 @ 5:38 pm
If you espouse personal interaction in confined spaces, then arguably the last thing TO do is to hold a conversation with someone not even IN said confined space (thereby giving a clear message to the other occupants that they matter to you not a whit — which is probably at the root of whatever got to the Loud-Voiced Arrogant and Righteous One, whetever her own transgressions).
Comment by el Kib — December 4, 2006 @ 7:07 pm
The elevator is such an awkward space where the usual social norms are brought into question. I’ve expereinced the phone calls and conversations with friends too, but we pause talking in the elevator and start again when we leave it.
The thing that gets on everyone’s nerves here is when someone get on the elevator from the lobby and gets off on floors 1-6. If I lived on the 5th, I wouldn’t want to walk up every time I came into the buliding, but it’s annoying anyway. Luckily, since I’m on the 15th I can take the elevator every time.
Comment by Hil K — December 4, 2006 @ 8:42 pm
Matt, the thing to do when someone is that rude is to pull your cell phone out of your pocket. Don’t bother to dial; just begin talking into it loudly about the rude people talking in the elevator. (This reminds me of my eggs story; age 13. Or my glass museum story; age 47, 51 and 52. Stop me if I’ve told these before.)
Hil K., why 6? Or is there a slight drop-off in annoyance for each floor over 3?
Comment by Jennifer — December 4, 2006 @ 9:49 pm
Are there are two issues here–elevator etiquette and cell phone etiquette?
Personally, I could care less what anyone does in an elevator, as long as it’s no worse what you do outside of an elevator, in a car, or on a belay rope in the alps.
But I do mind people interrupting a conversation for a telephone call, cell or not. My own personal way of dealing with a phone call in my office while talking to someone in person, is to ask the caller (even if its the missus) if I can call them back, and continue the in-person conversation. Personally, I think its insulting to break up a conversation for a call–even , maybe especially for, call waiting. But that’s just me, Rakkity E. Post Manners, an old fogy, born before Alexander Graham Bell and a world full of microwaves.
Comment by rakkity — December 4, 2006 @ 11:40 pm
Jennifer, I haven’t heard either of those stories before. Do tell!
Comment by pesky godson — December 5, 2006 @ 12:56 am
I agree with REPM. Unless it’s my father I don’t answer the phone. And call waiting? I call it call rude. Born before microwaves? How about something really important like clickers.
I second pesky. And maybe we could have a photo of the veiw from the 16th floor?
Comment by michael — December 5, 2006 @ 7:17 am
Guess I should have said infared too.
Comment by rakkity — December 5, 2006 @ 9:06 am
ok that didn’t work out like i planned, but click on these instead.
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h151/hillmk4918/IMG_6912.jpg
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h151/hillmk4918/IMG_6913.jpg
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h151/hillmk4918/IMG_7152.jpg
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h151/hillmk4918/IMG_7145.jpg
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h151/hillmk4918/IMG_7149-1.jpg
Mike, can you please delete the previous entry?
Comment by Hil K — December 5, 2006 @ 11:23 am
Hil, do you dare leave your room without a GPS? You are in the middle of nearly-nowhere. Eye opening, indeed. Of course that’s the view (sun setting, mountains in the distance, mostly trees) Diane and I have always dreamed of.
This is a nifty theme. Don’t suppose we can get other dorm room window views? Matthew?
Comment by michael — December 5, 2006 @ 12:16 pm
Wow! And you mustn’t be afraid of heights … Beautiful, thanks!
Comment by el Kib — December 5, 2006 @ 1:02 pm
Late enough to this thread that the main topic has shifted…oh well…
Matt: It does seem that in this case the rudeness award goes to Righteous One.
But I do think that cellphone etiquette is still maturing, and that all us cellphone users need to be mindful to gauge appropriate usage behavior based on the situation.
Two guidelines I try to follow:
I don’t answer the phone if I am engaged in a conversation — unless it is an expected call, in which case I warn whomever I’m with beforehand — as well as keep the intruding call as short as possible.
When I am the caller, if my call is answered, I always ask “did I catch you at a bad time”?, thereby giving the answerer an opportunity to right away say “I’ll call you back”.
Comment by smiling Dan — December 5, 2006 @ 1:53 pm
Glad to hear that, SD.
Comment by rakkity — December 5, 2006 @ 3:03 pm
I love the view, but my roommate is a little afraid of heights, so I have the side of the room with the windows. We are in the southernmost building on campus facing away from all the monstrous skyscrapers my friends on the other side of the hall can see. I would get you a picture of that but, again, my camera is out of commission.
Comment by Hil K — December 5, 2006 @ 3:41 pm
haha i love hils view! very jealous. i just moved my furtinure around with my room mate, we finally UN lofted our beds, its so much better. i was very excited. and i agree, i would have taken out my cell phone too and called someone to bug those annoying people in the elevator lol
im also jealous because hil tells me she had snow today up in MA, and its too warm down here for me to be thinking in the xmas season, its about 45 or 50 and very sunny
Comment by Debbie — December 5, 2006 @ 4:27 pm
Deb I would kill for 50 degree weather!
You know the cold and I don’t get along…
Comment by Hil K — December 5, 2006 @ 5:10 pm
I find all cellphone usage a subsonic aural irritation.
However, I find people talking a subsonic aural irritation, so maybe I am just subsonically irritable.
Comment by anon — December 8, 2006 @ 10:02 am
Well, a subsonic aural irritation’s better’n a supersonic oral irrigation.
Comment by rakkity — December 8, 2006 @ 4:55 pm
So true.
Comment by anon — December 8, 2006 @ 9:02 pm
Anon, you could add that for your fan noise also falls into the subsonic aural irritation category.
Comment by smiling Dan — December 10, 2006 @ 8:27 am
Love this subject.
Long ago while at one of my daughter’s band/chorus nights, a fellow parent sitting behind me got a call on his cell phone. He could not hear the caller well and vise versa as, like I said, we were attending our children’s musical performance where at this tender age (try as they may bless their hearts) everything that comes out of a wind instument sounds like you just threw the contents of your silverware drawer down the stairs. (Not you, Hilary my treasure. You were angelic.)
“Yeah, I’m at Carrie’s chorus thing. CHORUS THING. CARRIE’S CHORUS THING! YEAH!” The tears of pride in my eyes for my daughter dried up and steam came out of my ears as he continued to increase his vocal volume. This went on for an excrusiatingly long time until I could take it no more.
And that, Hilary, is why we don’t talk to “those people” any more.
(The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the not-so innocent.)
Jen
Comment by Jen — December 10, 2006 @ 6:39 pm
Shoulda punched him.
Comment by michael — December 10, 2006 @ 7:28 pm
Do you have any evidence of this? I could not refrain from leaving a comment. It’s almost like you wrote the book on it or something. It requires some bold action on their part. This girl I recently met likes your blogs. I’ve been a professional at this since about 1989.
Comment by bean bag — December 31, 2018 @ 12:05 pm