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<\/p>\nDear Henry,<\/p>\n
I loved your fall description. Here’s a photo that hints at our colorful light displays. I know, you’ll feel like you’ve been dragged back to photosigmoidoscopy…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
View larger image<\/a><\/p>\n I didn\u00c3\u00adt intentionally ignore Joan Cass’s directions; I defaulted to something that would allow me to resume breathing. Listening to the other stories in class, I thought, I can never make up something and have it believable. That, however, does not mean I won\u00c3\u00adt try.<\/p>\n Here is this Thursday\u00c3\u00ads assignment:<\/p>\n \u00c3\u00acTake any piece you are working on now, and create a diversion for your characters. It would be best if you could take a climactic scene and introduce into the middle of it something that has to be dealt with immediately \u00c3\u00b2maybe a screaming child, or a fire, or an interfering acquaintance. In this last case, the person who interrupts the scene might take the part of one or the other of the central characters, or put his\/her own interpretation on the problem and insist it be settled that way.\u00c3\u00ae<\/p>\n I\u00c3\u00adve got to slither off and do my writing but while I\u00c3\u00adm away I\u00c3\u00adve got a story from yet another guest blogger. This one with explicit permission. This one that might encourage one more guest submission. I’ll post it tomorrow.<\/p>\n One more thing. Robert, the Blue Hill\u00c3\u00ads teacher, sent back my copy of \u00c3\u00acClemency\u00c3\u00ae with his edits and these comments:<\/p>\n Dear Michael,<\/p>\n I enjoyed \u00c3\u00ac Clemency\u00c3\u00ae for its solid dramatic narrative. You had a genuine story to tell here and you handled the storytelling well, though I noted on the paper a few things I thought could be clarified. I especially like the way you link the camping trip and your experience with the overturned car years earlier. <\/p>\n Our group brought up a number of suggestions at the workshop, but in general I feel you could do more to establish the tension of the family scene after the accident. The father\u00c3\u00ads voice finally becomes significant to you at the end of the essay but the reader never hears his voice. Maybe more dialogue throughout would help. Instead of simply stating that you frequently argue with your brother, why not let us hear a sample of a typical conversation?<\/p>\n When you find good active verbs to use your descriptions can be excellent, quite accomplished, as I point out in the opening paragraph of Chapter II. A very nice piece of prose! But note how often \u00c3\u00acis\u00c3\u00ae and \u00c3\u00acwas\u00c3\u00ae appear throughout you opening paragraphs. The effect can be monotonous and repetitive. I\u00c3\u00add try rewriting your opening paragraphs by doing what you did in the paragraph that opens Chapter II.<\/p>\n If you take another shot at this, would you return the essay to me? We may be assembling another (though larger) collection of workshop writing this year and I\u00c3\u00add like to consider \u00c3\u00acClemency\u00c3\u00ae if we do. I\u00c3\u00adll let you know what happens.<\/p>\n Bob<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dear Henry, I loved your fall description. Here’s a photo that hints at our colorful light displays. I know, you’ll feel like you’ve been dragged back to photosigmoidoscopy… View larger image I didn\u00c3\u00adt intentionally ignore Joan Cass’s directions; I defaulted … Continue reading