On my way to Adam’s house, I stopped at the lumber yard in Maynard. Mike, who wears shorts year round and treats new customers like a border guard watching for terrorists, runs the place. As I paid for my studs, I noticed his security camera set-up. Bright, color photos of the snow in his lumber yard, blue tarps covering piles of wood, and me in my recently bought $1.99 red and black K-Mart flannel shirt flashed on four monitors.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Is there anything you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t see?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I asked.<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nothing, and I can back up, play back and burn it all to a CD.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You catch people at night? Surely, your daytime customers aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t stealing from you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be surprised. Sometimes I think it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s forgetfulness. I watched Fred Meyers load oak, then plywood and trim stock, but when he came in for the tally, he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mention the oak. I said, \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcFred, how about the oak?\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 and he said, \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcWhat oak?\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 These cameras cost me forty thousand and they switch to infrared when the sun goes down.<\/p>\n
“But no thieves yet?”<\/p>\n
\u00e2\u20ac\u0153The best one so far is Harold\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s dog. I caught him peeing in the back room by the door. I said, \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcHarold, why\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d your dog pee on my floor?\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 He said, \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcMy dog is house broken, he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d never ever pee on your floor.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 I said he did. He said he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t, and then he called his wife Mildred. ‘Mike says Fritz peed on his floor.’ I could hear \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem talking. ‘If Fritz is peeing on floors he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll pee in the Barton\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s house when we go there on vacation.’ Mildred says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fritz is house broken. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d never ever do that. So Harold turns to me and says, ‘Millie says it wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Fritz.’<\/p>\n
I said forty thousand bucks says it was. I run the tape back and there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s his black dog out back. First he sniffs the caulk, then he sniffs the gate latches and then he sniffs the floor right before he squats downs and lets go. Harold calls Mille back to tell her what he just watched. Millie says, “Some other dog must have marked the floor first.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
On my way to Adam’s house, I stopped at the lumber yard in Maynard. Mike, who wears shorts year round and treats new customers like a border guard watching for terrorists, runs the place. As I paid for my studs, … Continue reading