Diane

I had this conversation with my two favorite high school seniors, Matt, a complicated person whom you have met, good brain, bad student, and his best friend Joe, an artist and wrestler. (God, I love adolescents. What will I do without them? Oh, I remember, I work with them….)

Matt and Joe, on a brief visit to the house between godknowswhat and godknowswhat (Matt received his first college acceptance from Rogers Williams University today, a place in RI he knows nothing about but applied to as his safe school because his friend Drew, who almost burnt our house down by hanging his clothes on a lit light bulb for the night, got in.)

Joe: I got into Roger Williams too. It’s a really pretty campus. I visited on my way to URI, but I never found URI, so I didn’t apply there. Now, that’s a really good school I would not have gotten into.

Matt: I applied there. I haven’t heard yet. I probably won’t get in either because of my grades.

Joe: Well, I thought I’d go to Wentworth, but if you go to Roger Williams, I’ll go too.

Matt: I don’t think I’ll get into Goucher. I want to go to UVM or Goucher, but my grades aren’t good enough. Goucher is my really reach school.

Joe: Northeastern is mine. I’ll never get in.

Diane: Northeastern’s a great school.

Joe: I know. I’ll never get in.

Matt: I’ll never get into Goucher.

Diane: But they like smart alternative kids like you.

Matt: Did you know that Goucher requires everybody to attend a semester or year abroad, because they believe that you learn so much just by being in a different culture?

Joe: I’m not really interested in learning.

Matt: I’m interested in learning; I’m just not interested in doing reports of stuff you already learned.

Diane: Well, that’s the difference between high school and college. In college, if you don’t turn in your assignments, you flunk out. (Oh, for heaven’s sake, who am I?)

Matt: I always turn in my assignments if the teacher asks me to write something about something we didn’t just talk about.

Joe: You’ll do great in college. I’m afraid I’ll be in a big lecture class thinking to myself, what am I doing here? I should have stayed asleep. Or maybe I just won’t go. That’s what I’m worried about.

Matt: But what if you get to go to another country and get credit for that?

Joe: Well, maybe I’ll go to Wentworth. They don’t require a year abroad, but everybody does have to do a month divided between Germany and Italy.

Matt, evil grin: Hey Joe, you know I’m going to Italy in June? ….With my girlfriend?

Joe: Matt, I’m going to kill you. Maybe I’ll go to Italy with Wentworth. Going to Italy is my only goal in life. Maybe I’ll go with 3 girlfriends. Then, after two weeks, I’ll say to my three girlfriends, “We’re staying here.” and I’ll say to Wentworth, “What? I didn’t know we were supposed to come back.”

And off they went, on to life and higher education.

In the meantime, Mike and I are going to Portland ME today to the Pomegranate Inn. I am so excited, you’d think we were going to Italy.

Matt is excited, too. I said, “No parties, Matt. No more than your 5 best friends in this house.” (What am I thinking?)

“Okay” he said, “That sounds fair.”

“And no alcohol,” me.

“Leave your itinerary,” says he, “and call me when you get to the inn.”

“Tomorrow?” I say.

“Yeah,” he says, “I want to know you’re safely there.”

“You do?” says I.

“Yeah.”

Joe: I love this house.

Matt: (to me) I do too. If I killed you, would I get this house?

Diane: Yup. And our insurance too. Actually, if you want to kill us, now is the time.

Matt: Why?

Diane: Because we’ll borrow on the house to pay for your education, and then we’ll drop our insurance because you’ll be independent and won’t need it. (What am I thinking?) So if you’re going to kill us, now is the time.

Matt: Well, it wouldn’t be worth it.

Diane: That is the nicest thing you have said to me in a year.

Matt: Yeah, well, call me when you get to Portland.

And off they went, to wherever they are from which we will not hear again for a long while, despite our regular “family” dinners Sunday through Thursday.