Bearings

At Ray’s suggestion, I drop my car off at Dave’s to check the rear wheels.

Dave called this morning and said “its just your tires…that noise is from your tires wearing unevenly. They’ve got scalloped edges.”

Me: “Really? Hmm. ok, but did you check the wheels?”

Dave:  “no, need. I’m sure that’s what it is. That noise you hear – it’s a howling noise, right? that gets faster when you accelerate?”

Me: “I’m not sure.  I didn’t really notice any particular noise, but my friend Ray did, sitting in the back seat recently”

Dave: “I’m sure it’s the tires”

Me: “OK, what do I owe you?”

Dave: “Nothing, but we accept charitable deductions”

(We laugh and hang up)

I decide to call Ray and ask him to describe the noise.  He can’t really but said it really got louder when I turned the corners, so that’s why he thought it was the suspension.

I call Dave back.

Me: “Dave.”

Dave: “Karen, what’s happenin..?”

Me: “I talked to Ray and he can’t describe the noise, but says it really got louder when I turned the corners, so that’s why he thought it was the suspension.”

Dave: “Well, the tires are definitely making a noise….”

Me: “ok. But can you just take off the right rear wheel and take a look?  I’ll pay you for your time…”

Dave: “ok….”

10 minutes later, phone rings

Me: “Hi Dave”

Dave: “Karen.  I told you – you need new bearings in your right rear wheel.”

 

Empty Tables

I am told I wear my heart on my sleeve. But this is ridiculous. Last night, 7Pm walking into Main Street café for dinner and some tunes.

Waitress: “Dinner?”

Me: “Yes, please. Can I sit here? (pointing to one of the many empty tables at the front)

Waitress: “No that’s probably taken.”

Me: (staring hard at all the empty tables now).” Probably? How about these?? Are they reserved?”

Waitress: “Well no. (pause) But they might be…..”

Me: (still confused… giving up)…”Ok. I’ll sit at the Bar.”

Waitress: “Oh no, why don’t you sit here?” (points to the long table at the back where a man is already sitting)

She pulls out the chair next to him…

Me:  “But the bar is fine. And he’s sitting here?”

Waitress: “It’s ok. He’s single and very nice.”

Me: “I’m just looking for dinner. Really. Nothing more.”

Guy:  “I’m married”.

Me:  “I’m embarrassed. How do you do?”