We sat on her porch, enjoying the first breezes inspired by Isabel. As always, her doors are open; the house full of light and life. Her gardens planted and tended in memory of her husband. I sipped fresh gazpacho, swallowed the last bite of my second pastry and thought, what a giving, nurturing woman.
“How are you doing?”
“Some days okay, but other days, so so.”
“ Don’t tell me that.”
“Why?”
“Because, you look so good; I want everything to be okay.“
“So do I” her voice rose, “but I miss my guy. We were married twenty-two years. If I’m busy I’m all right. I ran a workshop on Star Island and I hurried around all day. Working, talking, teaching, but then I came home and ... .
Sometimes I flop down and do nothing.”
“Could I ask you a favor? I have a friend, her name is Ann. Her son died when he was seventeen and her husband died two months ago. Whenever I ask her how she is, she cries. She’s so overwhelmed, she cried as we talked about water in her garage. As if her wet floor made life impossible. When you said you feel better when you are busy, I thought you might be able to help her. She rattles around alone in her house with nothing but memories."
“You could say that about me.”
“But you’re moving, doing, creating. Look at your house, the spirits are free to fly in and out. There is no movement in her dark house. Her spirits are locked up tight.”
“I’ll call her if you want.”
“She’s English. You know, that stiff upper lip. I’ll give her your name and if she can, she’ll call you. At least I’ll have done something. Yesterday I snapped at her. I told her, ” You said before, it’ll take time. You can’t rush it, Ann. You want it all over, but it takes time.”
Still crying, she looked hard at me and said, “I’ve been through worse. I’ll get through this.”
I should have hugged her.
You get right to the heart of things. And you connect dots. Is that your dharma?
Selfishly, I wonder whether when I am gone anyone will miss me like that?
Or more frighteningly: will I miss anyone like that?
Posted by Wonderer.A crisp and moving peice of writing. The flow of dialogue and how it links beyond the piece is very confident and intimate -- though that the piece ends on remembered dialogue with Ann feels open-ended, as if the present widow were forgotten. Whom should you have hugged........?
Posted by moved.You get right to the heart of things. And you connect dots. Is that your dharma?
Selfishly, I wonder whether when I am gone anyone will miss me like that?
Or more frighteningly: will I miss anyone like that?
Posted by: Wondererat September 20, 2003 07:11 PMA crisp and moving peice of writing. The flow of dialogue and how it links beyond the piece is very confident and intimate -- though that the piece ends on remembered dialogue with Ann feels open-ended, as if the present widow were forgotten. Whom should you have hugged........?
Posted by: movedat September 22, 2003 11:01 AM