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Sunday, April 3, 2005

Wild Root Cream Oil

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“Helen, do you remember WildRoot Cream-oil?”

“It sounds familiar. Do you mean Brylcreem?”

“No, WildRoot Cream-oil. Brylcreem came after it.”

“That was oily wasn’t it?”

“Those old time radio shows, that I’ve been listening to on CD, play the original commercials. I remember that stuff. Can you imagine smearing something on your hair that they call cream oil, and that they boast has lanolin in it? They talk about using it on your kids to train their hair. Probably train it do situps.”

“I remember when you and Stevie Brown would slick your hair down with Brylcreme. Then you’d put your leather jackets on to look like Elvis Presley.”

“We looked pretty sharp, didn’t we?”

“Not too.”


“In my twenty years I have never seen anything wired in series like that?”

“What do we have to lose? Let’s run that copper wire between the two terminals as you suggest and eliminate it.”

My father and I had been, for most of the morning, banging our heads on the puzzle that was my nonfunctioning, driver’s side power window. We’d pulled the whole door apart, and I had in my hand, the small motor that lifted the window. Next to me on the ground were exposed wires, flapping plastic, screws, and multiple trim door parts. We had tested and retested and tested again resistance and voltage, but mostly we had tested our will to succeed.

We were sure we’d isolated the problem to the motor, which is as simple a device as the abacus. But we couldn’t determine the root problem. We’d get to a point, after checking every lead, where we were sure it should work, but when we reconnected the motor to the electrical harness – nothing. In frustration I called the local parts store – $210.00 for a new motor. Fat chance. I’ll continue to roll slightly pass those toll booths, and open my door before I pay that kind of money.

In the old days my father would have never given up. I knew he had the answer- he always had the answer, no matter how esoteric the problem- and all I had to do was keep him at it.

“Let’s take the motor into the breakfast room and work on it at the table.” Remember, this is not a greasy car part, but an isolated, compact, metal and plastic device. We’ve done much of our most important work at this table. Our last resistance check revealed an inline chip of some sort, that when wiggled, would either register as a closed circuit – good – or an open one – bad. That was the problem, and that was the in-series gizmo that made no sense to my father. We wired past it, reinstalled the motor and sure enough, the window went up and down.

I smiled to myself knowing that the only other person in the family who would truly appreciate the inventiveness of this solution would be Matthew. He had discovered countless part workarounds on the old BMW, oddities even his teacher at Minuteman Tech was clueless about. I just wished Matthew had been here for this one. Need I say, I miss Matthew?

Which reminds me of my phone call to Diane on Saturday. I stood on the porch in Evansville, warmed by the sun, as she watched the rain patter against the windows from inside her kitchen in Acton. With the lovey dovey stuff out of the way and a quick synopsis of Patti’s health, Flo’s progress, Kate’s broken foot, Matt’s tire purchase in NH, the overworked sump pump, her upcoming trip to Montreal, Susan, Jimmy, what movie I should watch with my mother, when I might be coming home and how things are here, I popped the most serious question. “How has the blog been without my editor?” Meaning, my posts from afar without Diane’s eagle eye.

“It’s been great. I love it.”

“But wha about punctuation and typos and … ?

ëI didn’t see any.”

Then it dawned. I can, write; anything: I want, in pretty, much my usual stlye. an as long sa it ends, with: I miss Diane – it’s perfect.


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Louisville Slugger

posted by michael at 10:57 am  

12 Comments

  1. I think ol’ Smiley and me are also naturally inclined and contextually primed to appreciate the cut-to-the-chase matter-of-factness of the solution, just as we admired the circa-1974 resistor we chopped out of the charging circuit loop in helping diagnose the Bimmer some 30 years later. Only time’ll tell what that intermittent bit of silicon did, but we know what its elimination achieved.

    P.S. I woulda edited the entry (but for the last lines), but the spirit of the piece seemed to lean otherwise.

    Comment by appreciative — April 3, 2005 @ 1:46 pm

  2. It was rather hard to follow that last sentence. Something about how you think a perfect dawn is pretty, but Diane misses the usual long sa ending? What is a long sa, anyway?

    On the intermittent silicon — I’m thinking: child-lock, and/or auto-open. You’ll never miss it.

    Comment by no longer an EE — April 3, 2005 @ 3:44 pm

  3. I was getting Brylcreem mixed up with BurmaShave. I never saw one of their series of billboards myself, but I enjoyed hearing about “If you think she likes your bristles, try walking barefoot through some thistles.” (How many billboards would that have been on? Just two and then the “Try BurmaShave”?) Does anyone remember others? I suppose there’s a website with them all, but that’s no fun.

    Comment by jennifer — April 3, 2005 @ 3:50 pm

  4. In the midwest, or should I say down here in the bible belt, we had Burma Shave signs that were strung out on a series of fence posts. But the most memorable ones for me were those that warned of souls at risk, like my own. Prepare : To : Meet : Thy : Doom: Repent : Jesus Saves. Seems like they only appeared at night to scare the bejesus out of me.

    Sorry, Jennifer, but I had to look up another one:

    Special Seats
    Reserved in Hades
    For Whiskered Guys
    Who Scratch
    Their Ladies
    Burma-Shave

    Comment by michael — April 3, 2005 @ 4:05 pm

  5. What’s the story behind the big bat? The Sox are getting killed right now, they could use that bat. I’ve heard of brilcreem but not burmashave. But I didn’t know brilcreem was for the hair, I thought it was shaving cream. If Jesus had a beard, why would he be an anti burmashave person?

    Comment by chris — April 3, 2005 @ 9:56 pm

  6. When my sister & I were taken on vacations, my dad
    driving the endless roads from California through Arizona, Nevada or Utah, there would be Burma Shave signs to liven up every hour. But why were there no Burma Shave signs in California? Never saw any. They still exist in Utah–we saw some last year south of Moab. But the Burma Shave company is long dead, isn’t it?

    Comment by rakkity — April 4, 2005 @ 8:18 am

  7. Even a raw yute like me remembers them from driving around Missouri decades ago. Here are a couple more (attribution untested, from strangecosmos.com):

    DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD
    TO GAIN A MINUTE
    YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
    YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT

    and

    A GUY WHO DRIVES
    A CAR WIDE OPEN
    IS NOT THINKIN’
    HE’S JUST HOPIN’

    Comment by ex-Midwesterner — April 4, 2005 @ 9:06 am

  8. Does anyone know the words to the old jingle from the radio..USE WILDROOT CREAM OIL CHARLIE? Thanks. Carol

    Comment by carol Tynan — May 3, 2005 @ 2:59 pm

  9. Carol, this might be it:

    Get Wildroot Creme Oil, Charlie,
    It keeps your hair in trim,
    You see, it’s non-alcoholic, Charlie,
    It’s made with soothing lanolin,
    So better get Wildroot Cream Oil, Charlie,
    Start using it today,
    You’ll find that you will have a tough time, Charlie,
    Keeping all those gals away!

    Comment by Michael — May 3, 2005 @ 3:27 pm

  10. I can’t thank you enough Michael…we have been looking for this for ages..my friend is a singer in Montreal and they are putting together a stage show which will feature old time radio..songs, commercials, etc. and they got the Pepsodent right but no one could remember this jingle. Now that I see it, it is very familiar and I remember the words. Thank you so much. (Wonder why in the world anyone is coming to this site? Lol.) Carol

    Comment by Carol — May 5, 2005 @ 12:12 am

  11. I can’t thank you enough Michael…we have been looking for this for ages..my friend is a singer in Montreal and they are putting together a stage show which will feature old time radio..songs, commercials, etc. and they got the Pepsodent right but no one could remember this jingle. Now that I see it, it is very familiar and I remember the words. Thank you so much. (Wonder why in the world anyone is coming to this site? Lol.) Carol

    Comment by Carol — May 5, 2005 @ 12:12 am

  12. Y ou mean anyone besides close friends I have compromising photos of and blood relatives?

    We must be about the same age to remember that commercial, although I really grew up with Brylcreme and Vitalis.

    As I continue to listen to these old time radio shows, I’m amazed at the colloquialisms. It’s too easy to believe that everything was invented yesterday, but “right as rain” and “another country (referring to another person with an opinion) heard from” used in(and probably before) 1948?

    Now who do suppose this Charlie guy is?

    Comment by michael — May 5, 2005 @ 11:03 pm

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