“I went to the video store and asked if they had the movie with Nicolas Cage and Hayley Mills. It was shot in black and white on color film. It was the one where they lost the war because they made all of the submarines out of styrofoam. Then I realized that wasn’t a movie, it was a dream I had. Then I thought how cool it would be to rent your dreams. The guy says, ‘that’s not a movie, that was a dream you had.’ I said, ‘how did you know that?’ He said, ‘you tried to rent it last week. ‘ I said, ‘well, let me know when you get it in.’ ”
– Steven Wright
Musings
Memoirs Past and Present.
I loved Steven Wright. I wonder why he stopped performing. He had such a dry delivery…I can just hear him telling this story.
I didn’t notice the quotes at the beginning, and thought it was totally Michael.
Me too — had he not put Wright’s name in, I’d still think it was just another confessional story.
One of, if not the nicest thing, anyone has ever said about me.
What, that you’re so forgetful and I don’t know what to call it that you would not only try to rent your dream two weeks in a row, but that you wouldn’t understand that the video store wouldn’t be getting them in?
My favorite lines from Stephen Wright:
“I used to work for the factory where they make hydrants, but you couldn’t park anywhere near the place.”
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà -vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
Oh! Here’s another Wright quote…
I was on the bus and talking to this cute girl. She said she was really into westerns and Jewish traditions. I said, “Hi, my name’s Bucky Walberg.”
Here’s the new dream rental device .
Nice device, lousy bed.