Working Weather
I finally bought a heater for working outdoors. It’s a tricky thing to use. First, it works best if the only job scheduled for the day is sitting in front of it drinking coffee. Secondly, turning the thing on reminds me of our old unpredictable gas grill where safe operation depended on distance from the thing.
You press one red button to release the gas and a second one to ignite it. However, if your timing is not right, you get no flame or a perfect replication of a solar flare. The first time I tried the heater I burned most of the hair …wait a second, let me look…no, all of the hair off my left hand. The second time – and this is I believe is a patentable discovery – I incinerated my nose hairs. A most amazing, painless event accompanied by the quick crackling sound of mini-forest fire.
Have you had enough time since to experientially learn the purpose of nose hairs? If not, let me recommend a mask. (I’m pretty sure those hairs are [intelligently] designed to protect you from something; a mask may substitute.)
Comment by Jennifer — February 24, 2007 @ 7:40 pm
Show us a photo! Of a flare incinerating some hair. Certainly you can make a slight sacrifice for the blog. What’s a nose hair or two?
Comment by rakkity — February 25, 2007 @ 12:58 am
Jennifer, there is nothing about me intelligently designed to prevent harm.
Comment by Michael — February 25, 2007 @ 10:04 am
Mikey, I was hoping against hope that you were not the owner of this new toy. I see no wisdom, whatsoever, in your ever touching such a dangerous thing. The visions are giving me nightmares in broad daylight. Take it back; give it away; something. Does Dufus know you bought this thing?
Comment by FierceBaby — February 25, 2007 @ 11:55 am
She bought it for me. Said something about wanting my father’s possessions all to herself.
Comment by Michael — February 25, 2007 @ 4:51 pm
My last husband did the same with our gas grill. Thought he would go look for matches while the gas was on. Lots of intelligence, low on common sense, he was. (Talk like Yoda, I do.)
Comment by Jen — February 26, 2007 @ 9:40 am
Please do not bring that thing home.
Comment by anon — February 26, 2007 @ 12:53 pm
I use that thing to pre-heat my shop and the green room upstairs, and to warm my back when I’m working on the truck. I’m thinking someday soon I’ll be cooking hot dogs with it.
Comment by michael — February 26, 2007 @ 1:40 pm