DIO(urselves)
I like Jen’s comment. Judging by everyone’s reaction around here, I guess this burial method is rather novel.
Anyway, I talked to both funeral homes this morning and the current plan is to pick-up my father in a rented mini van (extended version as the casket is 7’9″ long) on Wednesday morning, and drive him to Eldorado, Ks.. Wednesday night Diane and I (and maybe Peter, maybe not) will find a motel leaving the casket in the van in the motel parking lot. Thursday morning we’ll drive the thirty miles to Latham for the burial.
Did you tell Hertz what the intended use for the van is? Or did you just say, “I need one big enough for a casket.” I’m sorry if I’m giggling at an inappropriate time. (The girls and I call it “church giggles.”) It’s just striking me so funny. I have more comments, but I’ll keep them to myself for fear I will offend you lovely people.
My grandmother used to say that if you’ve cried and laughed in one day, you’ve lived life to it’s fullest that day.
Comment by Jen — February 5, 2007 @ 3:43 pm
Michael, when I read that he would be in the van overnight at the motel -that was my breaking point. Truly. And a little map to boot. I’m with Jen on this…it just brings on the giggles. Make sure you lock the van in the parking lot. And hope people don’t go looking in the windows. I wonder what Helen would say. And ditto Jen’s question…did you tell them what you were using the van for?
Comment by La Rad — February 5, 2007 @ 3:54 pm
no, he did not tell them what the van was going to be used for. He just said he had a box that was seven feet long and two and a half feet wide….
I am still trying to figure out what i think about this plan….
Comment by Matt — February 5, 2007 @ 4:22 pm
Thank you La Rad! I feel so much better.
Yes, that was the line that threw me over the edge as well. I thought, well of course that’s the logical thing to do. But I couldn’t help picturing Mike saying, “Bellman, please help me with my bags and my very large casket-like steamer trunk.”
Oh, I’m a bad person. Forgive me, one and all. I mean no disrespect.
Comment by Jen — February 5, 2007 @ 4:24 pm
No bad people here, just friends responding in ways I imagine Mike needs, and much appreciates. “Church giggles” … Great, candid humor, bless y’all!
No way that line was tossed out randomly, anyway — Mike’s no doubt as attuned to the profane and ridiculous as to the deep and/or painful here, too.
Now let’s just hope there are no lurking laws about bodies and state lines … But if there are, well … this plan already has “saga” written all over it, Matt.
Comment by el Kib — February 5, 2007 @ 4:43 pm
Lionell, at the Kansas funeral home, offered to house my grandfather overnight, but my dad said that wouldn’t be necessary. Believe me, pops is laughing too.
Comment by Matt — February 5, 2007 @ 4:43 pm
Anyone see “Little Miss Sunshine”? Crossing state lines with a body is not the worst thing you can do!
Comment by rakkity — February 5, 2007 @ 6:37 pm
Thank god I am not the only one with these totally irreverent thoughts and hilarity-provoking mental images. Picture the casket about four inches too long for the van and my otherwise decorous sister riding on the back bumper, bracing herself against the back of the vehicle to prevent possible catastrophe, as Michael hurtles them all toward Kansas.
Travel well, group. Take notes.
Comment by FierceBaby — February 5, 2007 @ 6:57 pm
How on earth did I ever get so lucky to know all of you! These shared memories are a treasure. We here on Central Street are sending as much good karma your way as we possibly can….but I think you are creating your own powerfully good karma for the rest of us. And Matt you must go.
FYI – since karma alone is not enough – after reading about Dan’s leg (ouch!), I spread “ice melt” all over your steps and driveway.
Comment by BirdBrain — February 5, 2007 @ 8:58 pm
This is a plan befitting Michael’s exhaustive unraveling of life’s tangled treads…and sure to be a saga.
Furthermore its creativity, pragmatism and frugality totally matches Mack’s eccentric engineer’s persona.
I can’t wait for our next LaPro gathering!
Comment by smiling Dan — February 6, 2007 @ 6:51 am
If one Mapquests Latham, one finds a town of less than 20 street names, a tiny grid barely a half a mile across in any direction. Can’t be more’n 200 houses and other buildings … A railroad cuts diagonally across its SE edge at the corner of Blain and Maine, from whence I hope Mike records one of many images to later flesh out this saga. If one wants to rest in peace, I’ll bet there’s plenty of it there.
Comment by el Kib — February 6, 2007 @ 7:50 am
Adam that was funny. RIP indeed. You’ve probably described 90% of Kansas.
Comment by Chris — February 6, 2007 @ 8:48 am
That was FUNNY.
Steven, the man from Latham who is having Mack’s grave opened, called last night at the end of the service.
“Am I calling at a bad time?”
“No, but I may have to call you back tomorrow if we don’t finish. It’s fifteen degrees and I’m outside to improve my cell phone reception. You always call at night; you must have a day job.”
“I do. I manage a cattle ranch.”
“I talked to Lionell in El Dorado and it looks like I just pass right by him. He’s not even going to house the body over night.”
“What about a vault?”
“Yeah, what about a vault?” Do I need one?”
“Yes you do.”
“If I put my father in a concrete box, how do I put him into the ground?”
“Yes, how do you?” We don’t have the machine for that here.”
“It looks like I have more work to do. I’ll have to get back to Lionell, and then I’ll call you back tomorrow.”
Some catchers, like Carlton Fisk, were known as human rain delays because they so slowed the game by their constant trips to the mound, how long they took to set-up, etc.. Steven in Latham does the same thing to conversations. He doesn’t have a southern drawl, but he talks so slowly, and his thoughts are so deliberate, that I feel as if I have to pull my rocking chair up next to his. At this time in my life, he is one soothing man to talk to.
Lionell, when he answers the phone, emphasizes those last two el’s. “This is lionELL. ” I can’t help but think of trains from my childhood.
Comment by michael — February 6, 2007 @ 9:51 am