Higher Education
Diane
I had this conversation with my two favorite high school seniors, Matt, a complicated person whom you have met, good brain, bad student, and his best friend Joe, an artist and wrestler. (God, I love adolescents. What will I do without them? Oh, I remember, I work with them….)
Matt and Joe, on a brief visit to the house between godknowswhat and godknowswhat (Matt received his first college acceptance from Rogers Williams University today, a place in RI he knows nothing about but applied to as his safe school because his friend Drew, who almost burnt our house down by hanging his clothes on a lit light bulb for the night, got in.)
Joe: I got into Roger Williams too. It’s a really pretty campus. I visited on my way to URI, but I never found URI, so I didn’t apply there. Now, that’s a really good school I would not have gotten into.
Matt: I applied there. I haven’t heard yet. I probably won’t get in either because of my grades.
Joe: Well, I thought I’d go to Wentworth, but if you go to Roger Williams, I’ll go too.
Matt: I don’t think I’ll get into Goucher. I want to go to UVM or Goucher, but my grades aren’t good enough. Goucher is my really reach school.
Joe: Northeastern is mine. I’ll never get in.
Diane: Northeastern’s a great school.
Joe: I know. I’ll never get in.
Matt: I’ll never get into Goucher.
Diane: But they like smart alternative kids like you.
Matt: Did you know that Goucher requires everybody to attend a semester or year abroad, because they believe that you learn so much just by being in a different culture?
Joe: I’m not really interested in learning.
Matt: I’m interested in learning; I’m just not interested in doing reports of stuff you already learned.
Diane: Well, that’s the difference between high school and college. In college, if you don’t turn in your assignments, you flunk out. (Oh, for heaven’s sake, who am I?)
Matt: I always turn in my assignments if the teacher asks me to write something about something we didn’t just talk about.
Joe: You’ll do great in college. I’m afraid I’ll be in a big lecture class thinking to myself, what am I doing here? I should have stayed asleep. Or maybe I just won’t go. That’s what I’m worried about.
Matt: But what if you get to go to another country and get credit for that?
Joe: Well, maybe I’ll go to Wentworth. They don’t require a year abroad, but everybody does have to do a month divided between Germany and Italy.
Matt, evil grin: Hey Joe, you know I’m going to Italy in June? ….With my girlfriend?
Joe: Matt, I’m going to kill you. Maybe I’ll go to Italy with Wentworth. Going to Italy is my only goal in life. Maybe I’ll go with 3 girlfriends. Then, after two weeks, I’ll say to my three girlfriends, “We’re staying here.” and I’ll say to Wentworth, “What? I didn’t know we were supposed to come back.”
And off they went, on to life and higher education.
In the meantime, Mike and I are going to Portland ME today to the Pomegranate Inn. I am so excited, you’d think we were going to Italy.
Matt is excited, too. I said, “No parties, Matt. No more than your 5 best friends in this house.” (What am I thinking?)
“Okay” he said, “That sounds fair.”
“And no alcohol,” me.
“Leave your itinerary,” says he, “and call me when you get to the inn.”
“Tomorrow?” I say.
“Yeah,” he says, “I want to know you’re safely there.”
“You do?” says I.
“Yeah.”
Joe: I love this house.
Matt: (to me) I do too. If I killed you, would I get this house?
Diane: Yup. And our insurance too. Actually, if you want to kill us, now is the time.
Matt: Why?
Diane: Because we’ll borrow on the house to pay for your education, and then we’ll drop our insurance because you’ll be independent and won’t need it. (What am I thinking?) So if you’re going to kill us, now is the time.
Matt: Well, it wouldn’t be worth it.
Diane: That is the nicest thing you have said to me in a year.
Matt: Yeah, well, call me when you get to Portland.
And off they went, to wherever they are from which we will not hear again for a long while, despite our regular “family” dinners Sunday through Thursday.
So … It’s the next day. Did the philosopher and the artist keep the debauchery to a select few, or is 136 Central reduced to but a few still-smoking 2×4’s … ?
And how DID the self-deprecatory auteur enjoy her Christmas present of a night well-flanked by days of one-on-one time with the blogmeister at the lovely Pomegranate Inn? And did you meet any interesting fellow escapist companions there? Where and what’d you eat (I always want to know … )?
I don’t know much about RWU as a place of learning, Matt, but it’ll have an interestingly lit new Dining Commons by the time you’d start there … ; >) But wherever you go, try to care to take it on — it’s a lot of money and weighty future debt to squander on mere partying, which you could do anywhere, and without the tens of thousands. All learning’s about learning to learn, as much or more than it is about what you learn. And your mom’s right — there’ll be no coach but yourself. They’ll let you self-indulgently self-implode, and will only step in just in time to let you know that’s the bottom you see rising beneath your feet …
Travel, Joe. Whether you have to or not. It’s a crippling illusion to allow yourself to think life in these United States is either normal or best — at least, it is if based only on local experience. More people live elsewhere than here, and it’s acutely awareness-raising to go get into that. And it can be great fun!
You’ll likely never have another time like college, guys! And not everyone will even get that chance. You’re both brilliant young men. Make it count!
Comment by adam — January 29, 2006 @ 11:23 am
Adam, you should hire yourself out to do graduation speeches. Nice comment on a delightful conversation.
Comment by La Rad — January 29, 2006 @ 2:16 pm
Joe, don’t you sometimes think Cortney is the equivalent of three girlfriends?
Diane and I went to a comedy club last night in Portland, and watched locals strut their stuff. Or try out their lame lines. Which leads me to say, the Pomegranate Inn was all it was cracked-up to be.
Comment by michael — January 29, 2006 @ 3:16 pm
Gawd.
Comment by La Rad — January 29, 2006 @ 4:43 pm
How did I miss this hilarious “Higher Education” riff? Rolling on the floor laughing!
Katie agrees with Matt–going to Europe is the best part of college. BTW, she just got back from Genoa/Pisa/Torino/Venice. Loved all.) And she even A’d the course she was supposedly taking.
Comment by rakkity — January 30, 2006 @ 6:09 pm
Adam, what a wonderful comment. As someone who is just starting to find his way at college, your words still have meaning.
Mike, you’re not going to get away with your paltry little ‘we went to a comedy club’. I look forward to a few of your signature vignettes and maybe one of those voyeuristic conversation transcripts.
This whole ‘recent commentors’ feature really is quite useful for rediscovering old conversations.
Comment by charlie — January 30, 2006 @ 7:45 pm
I think I was on vacation. I mean, I know I was, but I’d also put my brain to bed. I didn’t hear a darn thing worth repeating and I didn’t poke any nests in search of same.
The comedy club tuned me into how hard that job is. Stand up in front of strangers and rattle on hoping to hear laughs? Ewww. We sat through four comedians, none of whom were in the least bit funny. The loudest laugh of the night came when one guy dropped his pants.
I agree with your Adam comment. He makes me want to go back and try that learning to learn thing.
Comment by michael — January 30, 2006 @ 8:15 pm