Monday mornings I slog through paperwork. I sort sales receipts, I send out Word.doc invoices, and this morning I chucked those endless pieces of paper with numbers and names that no longer apply to anything. One of those odd scraps of paper contained the name and phone number of Matt’s compadre, Debbie. I hadn’t tossed it because on the other side was a note from Roland with the name of his ship’s commander.
As I put it back down on a pile of desk clutter, Matt, Joe and Robbie walked in the side door looking for lunch.
“Hey, Matt, whose number is 264-3215?†I asked
“How should I know?â€
“It’s a local number?â€
“So what?â€
Later on, Joe meandered into the office.
“Hi, Mr. Miller.â€
“Joe, whose number is 264-3215?â€
He shrugged his shoulders.
Last night, after dinner, I again asked Matt whose number it was.
“Why do you keep asking me that? How should I know?†he grumbled, “But I’ll call it if you want.â€
“That’s a fine idea. Do that.†I felt the hook set in the fleshy part of his cheek.
He thought for a moment and began to waffle. “It’s a house number, not a cell phone. If it were a cell phone you’d have less chance of getting someone.â€
I thought to myself if it were a cell phone number you’d know whose it was.
“Ask for Ann or someone and see if you can tell by the voice who it is.â€
He flipped open his phone, dialed the number and asked, “Is Sara there?â€
I could tell by his pronunciation it was Sara without the “h.â€
I could also tell by the look on his face that while he may not have recognized the person who answered the phone, that person sure recognized him. It was Debbie’s mom.
“Yeah, I mean, Debbie.†He fumbled
That’s right, now I’m doubled over.
“Hi Debbie. It’s me, and my father is an Asshole.â€
I could tell by the way he said it, it was asshole with a capital “A.â€