In His Name
On important things, Jim and Susan were almost always on the same page and when not could usually get there without contention. However, they did argue about stuff that didn’t count much. Those fights were almost always funny. In one of our phone conversations after Jim died, Susan told me tearfully that she didn’t know how she could spend the rest of her life without the funny fights. She sent me this description of one they had last winter.
It was a Saturday morning in the depths of last winter. We had a petrillion errands to run, so set out in Ranger Rick, shinydome’s beloved 1990 Ford pickup. By the time we had lurched down our avenue, the township road, and the county road ‚Äì a distance of not more than two miles ‚Äì to reach State Highway 55, I was not sure I had a filling left in my head.
“Rick’s lurching,â€I said.
“It’ll be better when he warms up,â€shinydome responded.
“Would that be in a few miles or Spring?â€I asked, possibly a bit snottily.
No response. Disdain clear.
As we neared our first stop, the ride had definitely gotten smoother. We did our errand, quite congenially working together. It took maybe 11 minutes.
We then lurched through the parking lot, back onto the highway, and eastward a while before smoother set in again. This pattern continued through three or four stops. I held my tongue. Truly. At least about the lurching. But during one of the longer stretches between stops, I broached a related topic. Here’s how that convo went:
FB: Have you noticed that we rarely, if ever, have both Carmen and Rick on the road? Maybe we should think about replacing two older, not so great vehicles with one really good one.
SD: I’ve actually thought that myself.
FB: What kind of vehicle are you thinking about?
SD: SUV. Ford. The big one.
FB: You’ve got to be kidding. They are terrible gas guzzlers and much more vehicle than we would ever need. Besides, we’d have to get a gun rack and one of those ribbon things that says, “Support Our Troops†to put on the back
SD: You are such a bigot.
FB: So.
A few minutes of silence.
FB: And do you know how much one of those honkers costs?
SD: Thirteen, fourteen thousand.
FB: You have been living under a rock. Multiply by three and a half and you might be close.
SD: No way.
At this point, we were near the Ford dealer in Buffalo, MN. shinydome swung Rick onto the lot, parked, and in we went. He paled as he looked at the sticker. Out we went, quickly, and began the homeward lurching.
FB: It is not cute.
SD: We are not spending that kind of money based on cuteness.
FB: And it doesn’t even come in green.
SD: You’ve never wanted a green car.
FB: And I don’t now. However, if we are going to spend that kind of money, we should at least be able to get a green one if that’s what we want.
SD: You’ve passed rational.
Once home, I went online and researched some smaller SUVs. I printed out the pictures and info for three of them and presented same to himself in the order I preferred them, my favorite being the Honda CR-V.
We both spent the rest of the afternoon doing our own things, coming together again just before dinner.
SD: Well, I’ll give you this much; the Honda is cute.
FB: Very.
SD (with that s___-eating grin spreading from ear to ear): It’s just too bad it doesn’t come in green.
Yesterday, I traded Carmen in on a silver Honda CR-V. His name is Shiny Stochl. shinydome would smile.
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Jim would be thrilled that his namesake is a safer vehicle for his wife to be not lurching around in. Great recounting of this discussion FB.
Comment by LaRad — September 25, 2005 @ 8:49 am
I wish Shiny could come visit UVM with Matt and me today. Great story, Fierce, but wasn’t there some steam coming out of ears between chapters?
Comment by car with no name — September 25, 2005 @ 10:01 am
Someday Fierce might tell the truly funny story about the car trunk and the piano, or was it a rocking chair, or a sleep sofa?
“Would that be in a few miles or Spring?” About even in the funny competition with, “What are you doing now, weirdo?”
Comment by michael — September 25, 2005 @ 10:31 am
Yes, car with no name, there was steam from the ears and not just between chapters. Although not included in the recounting because I can’t remember where in the story it was, during a period of particularly violent lurching, I said, “Jimmy, you’ve got to do something about this truck.” “What would you have me do?” he asked. “Right now,” I said, “pull it off into the ditch and walk away.” Lotsa steam!
We’ll see about the car/chairs story, Michael. Not soon, but someday.
Comment by FierceBaby — September 25, 2005 @ 7:24 pm
I don’t believe we were ever introduced to Carmen — what was she, where is she now, and why is her replacement a “he”? And do we gather from the lack of mention that Rick now sits off to the side in memoriam vigil?
Of such mundane but humane minutiae are our lives woven. They’re hardly fights, but merely the knees and elbows of bed to the nestling of spirits.
Comment by adam — September 26, 2005 @ 8:37 am
If you want to add a flourish to this delightful story and put another s—eating grin on SS’s spirit wherever he floats, you should take Shiny Stochl down to the dealer and have them add two thin green racing stripes on the sides.
(PS – I’ll bet Linda would love to trade me in for someone with whom arguments would be as innocuous as yours with SS).
Comment by smiling — September 27, 2005 @ 9:00 am
That’s what I was thinking. In fact, I was kinda wishing Diane and I had arguments which we could look back on and laugh.
Maybe it takes two brainiacs( of which there is only one in our family) to have funny fights.
Comment by michael — September 27, 2005 @ 7:41 pm
But honey, you are a maniac, I mean brainiac.
Comment by mike's wife — September 29, 2005 @ 6:38 pm