Bertha Downing
Dan’s mother, Bertha, died Wednesday morning.
Photo taken in April by Dan.
As a young woman.
Twenty years ago, shortly after Dan and Linda were married. I dropped by Sunnyside Lane to see Dan’s visiting parents. It was summer, it was humid and it was hot. That morning I’d grabbed a pair of white pants that were no longer work-worthy and ripped off the legs at mid thigh. I thought I looked pretty good in my new shorts.
As I walked up to Bertha in the living room, flattered to be in the presence of this woman who taught Dan about emotional strength, I said, “Welcome to Lincoln.†She greeted me with a broad smile and an open heart as she had the first day we met, some ten years earlier. With Emerson I sometimes felt I had to prove myself, with Bertha I only felt I had to be myself.
She sat upright, with her perfectly combed dark hair, her hands crossed on her lap, and exuded elegance. I suddenly felt that maybe these new white shorts with the frayed legs weren’t so nifty. Bertha must have sensed my unease because she said, “Take off those shorts and I’ll hem them.â€
I slipped my pants off in front of her and then, fifteen minutes later, back on, newly hemmed. I looked down for the third time that day and I thought, “Bertha made a better me.â€
Bertha, you made all of us better. We’ll miss you.
This is a wonderful story Michael-she treated you like one of her own. I’m so sorry Dan.
Comment by chris — September 8, 2005 @ 7:57 am
This is a wonderful story Michael-she treated you like one of her own. I’m so sorry Dan.
Comment by chris — September 8, 2005 @ 7:57 am
My condolences, Dan
Comment by rakkity — September 8, 2005 @ 9:48 am
A heartwrenching loss, but an ineffable gift as well, for her to have her children safe around her when she went. I can barely imagine waking from that sleep to find her gone, Dan, but I hope there’s comfort that she was spared worse, that she was able to wait for you. Your eulogy was a beautiful, heartfelt tribute — I can also barely imagine the strength to deliver it. But so fine that you included in it this precious story by Michael, which characteristically nails with apparent ease a pure, clear moment of deep insight. P√°z y gracia, asombrosa mujer!
Comment by adam — September 11, 2005 @ 8:37 pm
Linda and I are back from Texas.
Wonder of wonders. The pain of finality was followed by a celebration of her life (with heartfelt contributions of thoughts and memories from many of you — and yes Michael’s insightful recollection — thank you all), and then an intimate family reunion. And tearfulness has been gradually replaced by smiles and joy.
It will be hardest on my sisters, who will inevitably notice for weeks, the little things, like:
How can I be walking so fast? (no more Mom being pushed in wheelchair).
Oh — guess I don’t need to fill Mom’s plate from the buffet table…
Only silence from the room noise monitor — is she sleeping?
She is sleeping…the eternal sleep.
Comment by smiling — September 11, 2005 @ 9:43 pm
So great that Bertha recounted some of her stories to Dan earlier this year! Anyone still checking in on comments on recent strories should go back and read:
https://mainecourse.com/mt/archives/002053.html
and
https://mainecourse.com/mt/archives/002055.html
In her own words — too wonderful!
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