Diane. “What was that blonde joke that Jimmy told us? The one that
was so funny, about dieting. I might use it with my patients.”
Me. “Yeah, what was it. Matt do you remember?”
Matt. “No.”
Me. “Give me a moment, I’ll find it.”
Clickity, clickity, after maybe fifteen seconds, tops.
Me. “Here it is.”
A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day. Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.
"The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor. She had lost nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that’s amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded. "Ill tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor."
"No, from all that skipping!"
Diane. “That is the one, but Jimmy’s version was much funnier”
Me. “ It was, but what do you think of yours truly, The Googlemaster?”
Diane. “Incredible.”
Matt. “Pathetic”
Updates:
Two new contributors to the blog, Dan and Ed, are honing their stories.
Scheduled publish dates....soon.
The BMW flywheel is on it’s way to Dublin NH, to a machine shop that specializes in classic BMW restorations.
Matt is going to the LOCOBAZOOKA! 'UNITED WE ROCK!' festival this Sunday. It’s an all day, open air concert, held at the airport in Fitchburg.
Last night we celebrated Mark and Ginger’s twenty-fifth wedding anniversary and then went to Willow Books to see Elinor Lipman read from The Pursuit of Alice Thrift. I queued up to have her sign my copy and to tell her how much I liked her writing. Before I finished, I looked down to see her stroking my arm.
I hope I'm there when Mike finally gets the validation he needs from Matthew, though I'm quite certain his ability to be with it will be gradual, not a fun-to-watch orgasmic satori.
As for me, all these years I've tried stroking Mike's ego, when all he really wanted was his arm fondled.......... My mistake.
Posted by tangential.OK googlemeister, answer me this: why doesn't google come up with anything when I enter "LOCOBAZOOKA!"? Google does come up with a funny site when I enter "UNITED WE ROCK":
http://johnpowers.diaryland.com/020130_98.html
which turns out to be a blog devoted to Q&A jokes.
(Maybe I should ask there what the funnier version is of the Blonde Diet joke.)
So Lipman wants to marry you, too?
I guess it's my professional version of Google, which up until now, I have been keeping secret: http://www.google.com/search?client=googlet&q=locobazooka
Posted by commercialstrength.Try this:
http://www.google.com/search?client=googlet&q=355/113
or this:
http://www.google.com/search?client=googlet&q=exp(sqrt(tanh(1)))
Speaking of the professional edition (or is it addition?)
I hope I'm there when Mike finally gets the validation he needs from Matthew, though I'm quite certain his ability to be with it will be gradual, not a fun-to-watch orgasmic satori.
As for me, all these years I've tried stroking Mike's ego, when all he really wanted was his arm fondled.......... My mistake.
Posted by: tangentialat September 25, 2003 08:28 AMOK googlemeister, answer me this: why doesn't google come up with anything when I enter "LOCOBAZOOKA!"? Google does come up with a funny site when I enter "UNITED WE ROCK":
http://johnpowers.diaryland.com/020130_98.html
which turns out to be a blog devoted to Q&A jokes.
(Maybe I should ask there what the funnier version is of the Blonde Diet joke.)
So Lipman wants to marry you, too?
I guess it's my professional version of Google, which up until now, I have been keeping secret: http://www.google.com/search?client=googlet&q=locobazooka
Posted by: commercialstrengthat September 26, 2003 05:52 AMTry this:
http://www.google.com/search?client=googlet&q=355/113
or this:
http://www.google.com/search?client=googlet&q=exp(sqrt(tanh(1)))
Speaking of the professional edition (or is it addition?)